New day, new experiences

Last night when we left the Hospice facility, I called Mom and talked with her to see how she was doing. She was doing pretty good, just sitting and reading her book and relaxing. I told her that Dad was doing fine and resting well. I also told her that she could call me anytime she wanted if she needed to talk or had questions. This morning, at about 8:30, she called me in tears and asked if I could come over. I told her that I would be right there. (I needed to get dressed first as I had slept in a little trying to catch up on some lost rest.) We have a good friend from church, Julie, who lives very near to the nursing home and Mom is very comfortable with her. Julie had told me to call her anytime if she could help in anyway so I called and asked her to go be with Mom until I could get there. When I got there, I realized that she thought that Dad was already gone. She had told someone at the nursing home that he had already died. I assured her that he hadn't. I asked her if she wanted to see Dad and she told me that she didn't and couldn't. It was too upsetting for her. She seems to have said her goodbyes and is ready to grieve and move forward in her grieving. While I was there, I got a phone call from the social worker at Hospice through Nila. She had some paperwork to go over with me and wondered when I could meet with her. I had a moment of feeling like "I can't be in both places at once" and I got a defensive feeling like I had to explain that I wasn't neglecting my Dad. Just a moment of totally being overwhelmed. But I got over it and ended up having a wonderful afternoon sitting with Daddy.

Today has been an amazing day with Dad. When I got here, Nila told me that Dad had been more alert than ever and that he had been asking for me. The time that I spent with him this afternoon has been a gift! It was like I had been given a window into my Dad. It wasn't constant but consistent. He told me he loved me in response to my "I love you." I asked if he like the music I was playing for him on the CD and he said "it's relaxing". He responded to my questions of the volume...too loud or too soft. Just a little while ago Rich and I were talking with him and he smiled and said "you're gonna pay for it". I have no idea what I'm going to pay for but it was a fun time of teasing.

Sherri and her family came in to see Dad and when he saw Sherri he reached his hand out to her and gave her a big smile. He responded positively to all of the kids and Mark. Mark had his alone time with Grandpa while he read Psalm 119 to him. He asked Dad if he could and he responded affirmatively. When Sherri hugged him goodbye he told her that she was very, very special. (She got a very, very and thinks she's number one now.) :) :) He told her earlier that he loved her.

Rich came in a little while ago and Dad reached for him as Rich sat on the edge of his bed and just rubbed Rich's arm lovingly. He said several different tiny comments that we could understand. It's just been such a gift to have had this time with him. Such a real gift.

Dad reaches quite a bit for things that we cannot see. A little while ago he asked us if we saw the little boy and then a man. When we try to understand what he is saying to us and don't get it, he's sort of laughs a frustrated laugh. For those of you who may not be aware, this is a very normal part of the process. At one point this afternoon he woke and was looking around and I went to him and said "Hi, Daddy. It's Lois." He said, "you're not Lois." I said "who am I? Eva?" He shook his head no. Maybe he was seeing someone else waiting for him in Heaven.

Paul and JoAnne are on their way here now with Sam. Sam just picked them up at the airport. Dad is resting now and I hope that he will be aware of them when they arrive and that they will experience some moments of Dad's blessing as we have had.