Struggles, Frustrations & Decisions

I have battled with leaving Mom in the nursing home following Dad's passing. My siblings have encouraged me not to take her home as I would be back in the same position needing to have help if I ever needed to be away from home. I have 4 grandchildren and our Heather (mom to three) is in Med school in Tallahassee. I want to be able to give her a hand at times with the children. I want to be able to just be a Nana. I’d like to be able to visit our son’s families in North and South Carolina. Yesterday, in church, I think I only heard half of the message as I was thinking through everything and trying to understand what it was that God would have me do. Sam is very supportive and would support whatever I decided but his inclination is to also leave Mom where she is while giving her lots of support and times away from the facility spent with us.

I was reminded today that God truly worked out all of the details for Mom and Dad to be at Doctors Lake and He did it for a reason. He could have called Daddy home a few weeks earlier before they left the house and Mom would still be here and I would still be very tied to the house and my responsibilities here. Mom is settled there and has made many friends of the staff and has many activities to enjoy and people to see and that wouldn't be the case here. I was so busy caring for Mom and Dad that I had very little time to "play" with them.

Today, Mom called and asked if she had dreamed it or did I say she could come home. I explained that where she was, she had a safe place to stay if I needed to be away to help with the grandkids and she had activities and friends there and that we could still do fun things together. Rosie was still here - they were packed and ready to go soon so I decided that I would just run and get her and bring her back here so that she could tell them goodbye from here and they wouldn't have to stop there. That would also help her to see that we weren't having a "party" without her. So I brought her home about 10am and she hung out here with me until I took her to get her nails done at noon. Then we went to eat at Chick-Fil-A (her favorite place) and then back to Doctors Lake by two so I could get to a Dr.'s appt. This is my commitment to her. I will leave her there to live but will be able to spend lots of quality time with her that I wasn't able to do when I did all of her care and Dad's care.

Mom has gone downhill mentally so much lately. This is a woman who has accomplished much in her lifetime. She was a talented and capable woman. And now, she cannot follow directions to do the handwork that she used to do. I gave her a kit today to make hot pads. She was so excited. The kind you weave from stretchy loops. She sat there and looped the first layer and then just placed the next layer of loops right over the top the other direction. I showed her that wasn't correct...helped her take them off and showed her how to weave it in. I did two loops to show her. Thirty minutes later she was still contentedly struggling with the third loop and only had it halfway woven in.

We had wanted to}] be a part of the Creek Church (the satellite campus across the street from us) but it is so very important for Mom to be in service at the main campus that we have decided that we will continue to attend there so that Mom can be there. Then we will bring her home for Sunday dinner with the family. Sherri and her family usually join us every Sunday after church. We will continue to take things one day at a time.