At peace...again

SUNDAY JUNE 28, 2009
Mom called me this morning all upset. I could hardly understand her on the phone and she sounded a bit confused as well. She told me that Dad had an accident in his bed that that it was quite upsetting to her because the nurses had to clean him up and she was concerned that he didn’t have any clean pajamas. I assured her that he did and they were in the drawer in there. She couldn’t seem to get out what she wanted to say so she finally told me that she would explain it all when I came in to see them.

Kathy and Carmen were coming for lunch and I knew that they would be later as they were coming after church in St. Augustine so I had time to run up and check on them.

I found them in Physical Therapy when I arrived. Sitting side by side in chairs and peddling the exerciser. They were being attended to by the nicest Christian physical therapist man from the Phillipines and Mom was thoroughly enjoying him! She was surprised and happy to see me. I sat in there with them for about 30 minutes and was relieved of my guilt and my spirits lifted tremendously as I saw how “just fine” they were! God keeps sending them wonderful people to love and care for them. What’s my problem?? Why do I let this happen?? I want to be careful of their feelings. I don’t want to neglect them. Mike reminded me today when I got back from the nursing home that if it had happened on my watch, I would have had the whole responsibility on my shoulders of cleaning it all up and there, they have several people that can help.

We had such a wonderful time the Kathy, Carmen, Dana and Mia this afternoon. They came to see Mike and Ria and hang out with us. After Mike and Ria left, I had a chance to play in the pool with the DeLisi’s. What fun!!! Kathy said that it was good to see me relax so much and enjoy myself. After they left, Sam and I went up to the nursing home to see Mom and Dad as I had told them that I would return later today to spend some more time with them.

We took some objects that we had found in their apartment that I wasn’t sure of their uses. Neither was Mom.  Neither was Dad. Mom guessed at a couple of things. Earlier, I had made up a memory box for Dad. I hadn’t had an opportunity to show him the things in it but I had left it in the room in one of the empty drawers. I got the box out tonight and got a few things out one and a time. They were different gadgets that I had found in his office laying around. A couple of the things were things he had made. The tiny bowl he had made by making rings of wood with his scroll saw held his interest the longest, except for the pliers that he held in his hand for quite some time. I got out a flashlight that I had brought from his bedside stand and he asked me if I had “purloined” it. He has amazed people with his word usage at this stage in his life with words such as “insipid”, can’t remember the other one (ask Rosie) and purloined! Something in his brain is still working. Growing up he would use many big words because he was always learning new ones. When I asked what they meant, he would say, “look it up in the dictionary…that’s the only way you will remember it.”

When we left them tonight, I felt at peace and lighthearted. I’m so thankful for how supportive Sam is and how kind he is to them when we visit. We talked on the way home about how our visits with them are so much more meaningful than a lot of the time spent with them when they were in our home. We enjoy the visits and feel like they get better quality time with us than before. Another plus to this situation…I really do feel like I am much more free to be their daughter now that I am not their full time caretaker