METAMORPHOSIS

Metamorphosis – a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.

This is a story that has been bubbling in my mind and heart for over three months now. It has been four months since my beloved “Daddy” had a “change of form”, so to speak. A couple of days after he passed away, my sister, her husband and I were standing in my kitchen. Rosie glanced out the glass door of the kitchen and saw a large, beautiful butterfly on the screen of the porch and pointed it out to me. I glanced at it and under my breath, without thinking, whispered, “hi Daddy”. I told no one of my reaction for a few days fearing they might think that I had flipped my lid or was seriously screwed up in my theology.

A few days later I shared this experience with my sister who probably tried very hard not to raise her eyebrows at me. It puzzled me as to why I reacted this way and I wondered as to what possible meaning it could have…this spontaneous reaction of talking to the butterfly and addressing it as “Daddy”.

One thing that helped me feel a little less spooked by my reaction was one of the grief booklets that I read. The following paragraph spoke to me and helped me understand that my reaction was quite normal.

“Many who grieve report unexplainable experiences that suggest a feeling of connectedness with a loved one who has died. Some understand these to be normal perceptions that occur for a time following a death, while others believe them to be magical or spiritual occurrences.”

When I read that, I felt a little better about what had happened and realized that this was not an unusual occurrence and I wasn’t losing my mind but still I wondered about the significance of it or if there was even any significance. A few weeks later I was driving with my daughter and at a stoplight I noticed that the car in front of us had a butterfly on the license plate. As we drew closer I discovered that it was a Florida specialty plate for Hospice. I was stunned. I had no idea at this point that the butterfly is used as a symbol by many hospice societies world-wide. I have no idea if the hospice facility where Dad was at the end uses the butterfly or not. It was not something that I noticed at the time we were there.

The loss of my father after years of caring for him and for my mother has had a profound impact on me. I have struggled at times with guilt…well, lots of times. I have second guessed myself and the decisions we made and continue to make on behalf of Mom. The roles are definitely reversed…I have become my mother’s Mom. She has even introduced me at times as her mother. The last time she realized her mistake and corrected herself. Getting off track here – back to the butterflies!

The whole butterfly thing intrigued me. At every turn I kept seeing butterflies. I even ordered a new pair of shoes on line and they came with a butterfly picture. What was I supposed to be learning from all of this? I started spending hours researching.

Like the butterfly, hospice is a symbol of transformation. They help people make the most important transformation in life, and help them find hope even in the process of dying. That was definitely true for our family. Hospice helped us in the education of what was happening and what to expect to helping make Dad’s last days as comfortable as possible.

Butterflies have been a part of many legends. They are symbolic and carry significant meaning in many cultures. In many Native American Tribes butterflies are a symbol of rebirth, regeneration, happiness, and joy.

Butterflies have a multi-stage life cycle; beginning with a larvae stage and ending with the spectacular metamorphose into a colorful winged adult form. Some people think of this cycle as similar to the human life cycle. The concept is that we are born into this world and leave this world, metamorphosing into a new and beautiful spiritual world, free of pain and suffering. I have the assurance that my Dad, whose heart belonged fully to his Savior and Lord, Jesus, did, in fact, metamorphose in to a new life and a new body.

Another grief booklet reads, “Search your own memory for an image or object that was special to your loved one, or that helps you bring your loved one to mind……find a way to hold onto that special “icon,” and let it bring you comfort and joy.” For me, it is the butterfly. As I look back to the day that I saw the butterfly on the screen, my conclusion is that God knew how much I had just gone through and what I was facing in the days ahead. It was such a sweet reminder that Dad is safely with Jesus and that my Heavenly Father is watching over me, guiding me and loving me as I continue on in my responsibilities of caring for my Dad's beloved wife that he struggled with leaving behind.


Psalm 30:11,12
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever. (NASV)

Praise God, my Dad’s mourning in the loss of his mind and body has now turned into dancing. He is in the presence of Jesus and he is singing and dancing in his new body and with his new mind.


In all my researching on this subject, I discovered that a very common practice with Hospice facilities is to have a butterfly release as fund-raisers and as memorials for loved ones who have passed on. We are having a family memorial for Dad over the Thanksgiving holiday. There will be almost 50 immediate family members present to celebrate Dad’s life. I’d love to do a butterfly release at that time. I think that it would be a beautiful and fun experience.